Hey, It’s Brandon — Thank You for Your Support!
My Fellow Americans,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you.
Over the last few months, I’ve started seeing people wearing caps and flying banners reading “Let’s Go, Brandon.” Now, I know I’m not the only Brandon out there — and I don’t presume to speak for all of Brandondom — but I do want you to know that I’m going… further and faster than I’ve ever dared before… thanks to you.
I didn’t know what to expect headed into 2021. I was cautiously optimistic, but if 2020 taught us anything it’s that we never really know what life has in store. I think it was Shakespeare who said, “You know, someone said that the world’s a stage and each must play a part.” It seemed like none of us knew what part we’d be playing from day to day in 2020. It was especially hard when all the theaters shut down and the director was quarantined.
Many people had their lives upended by COVID-19: jobs went online if they didn’t disappear completely; friends and family were relegated to infrequent text messages or Zoom calls; and where once we’d binged out on the town, now we binged on Netflix. “Normalcy” seemed like a thing of the past. As a chronically unemployed middle child with a degree in political science and a crippling case of Hulu Knee, I have never in my adult life felt more like Everyman.
Then, against all odds, the sun began to peek through the clouds. This time, we all stared directly at it — squinting in disbelief and unspoken hope that it wouldn’t mean the end to our long national sick day. Slowly but surely, civilization began to get back on its numb, tingly feet. There was a vaccine. We could get back to living our lives.
I was terrified.
Not because I thought the vaccine gave Bill Gates knowledge of my whereabouts that wasn’t already provided by my iPhone and static IP address. Instead, I dreaded the old questions coming back to haunt me. “What do you do?” “How’s work?” “Why won’t you accept that Hulu Knee is not a valid disability?”
Fully vaccinated, I had no way out.
We throw the word “brave” around a lot nowadays. More often than not, I think it’s misapplied. Is it brave for a firefighter to get a kitten out of a tree or a police officer to turn off his body cam or an action movie star to shoot an unarmed woman? Yes, all of those things require a lot of nerve, but most of those people knew the job was dangerous when they took it. I think bravery is daring to take one small step out of your comfort zone. Then, three to six months later, taking another.
But I want you to know, when I see a sign saying “Let’s Go, Brandon,” I feel like I could run right out of that comfort zone and never look back. Isn’t it amazing what three little words of encouragement can motivate a fella to do?
“Let’s Go, Brandon” — Get that job at PetSmart. Call out if you need to. You can do whatever you want, you’re seasonal help!
“Let’s Go, Brandon” — Ask that nice lady at the laundromat out on a date. You don’t know what the lower range of her hearing is!
“Let’s Go, Brandon” — Stage a one-man show dramatizing the life of Ken Berry via interpretative dance. Who’s to say the people in the park aren’t enjoying the free entertainment? You can always say you were having a grand mal seizure if you feel insecure later. You’re in charge!
Slowly but surely, I even got up the courage to reach out to my parents. What’s the difference between “Let’s Go, Brandon” and “Let Go, Brandon”? Just one ‘S.’ An ‘S’ you can use to say, “I’m sorry” as in, “Mom, I’m sorry for what happened in front of your book club when I was fourteen. I was young and confused.” I guess you could also use the ‘S’ for ‘confused.’
I may never know what motivated you to say those words, but it really doesn’t matter. You knew what I needed to hear. I guess it was just my turn to live in the love of the common people. I want you to know that, no matter where I may “go,” I won’t forget to pay it forward. In fact, I came up with the idea to shout “Let’s Go!” and then say a different name each time. I figure that way even more people will feel encouraged to reach for the stars, even if some of them are startled and drop things when they find out it’s their turn.
I never thought this would happen to me. I’ve never won a prize or been employed long enough to get a promotion. I figured the closest I would ever come to going viral would be getting bitten by an exotic creature at the petting zoo and wiping out more of my countrymen than World War Two. Thankfully, it looks like someone beat me to that particular goal. Oh, well. I may never be Patient Zero, but I know I’ll also never be a zero in life so long as you’re behind me.
Thank you again and Let’s Go, Everyone!
